Love Drive 101 Blog

Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Do you ever feel that you are just too busy for your spouse?  Do you ever think that your marriage may be in trouble because you are not making time for your spouse? You know that you are still in love with your spouse.  As you continue to read this article then you will learn how important it is to bring the romance back into the marriage so that we can fix it before it is too late.

When you were first marriage you were in love and always made time for each other.  Then as life goes on you get busy you have kids and you place the romance on the back burner.  As you start to realize that the romance has been erased from your marriage you will think where has all the time gone?  Then you realize that your busy life has gotten in the way of your marriage and what is important to you.

Your kids are really important to you, and they require a lot of attention.  As a couple it is really important to learn how to take time for yourselves.  Get a babysitter or have the grandparents watch the kids while you make time to bring the romance back into your marriage.  Sometimes all you need is to go out to dinner and just enjoy each other company.  It is also important to show attention to your spouse every day.  Start with kissing each other every time you leave the house.  Leaving I love you note on the steering wheel of the car will bring a smile to your face.

You will also want to communicate with each other to make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to love making.  You may be in the mood but your spouse may have other things on their mind.   Set a date night where you both are on the same page when it comes to love making.

1.       Schedule regular dates with your spouse
As the years of marriage have gone by you may have realized that you have lost the passion in your marriage. Your busy life has taken over what is really important as a couple.  To bring back the romance in your marriage you will want to schedule a date night every week with your spouse and make this an important event. You can not feel love together if you are not together.

2.       Look for the fun

Remember the old dating days when you were open to having fun.  You were willing to try new things that would keep the excitement going. So each date night that was scheduled was a fun adventure because they consistent of something new with each date.  You played games; you tried new things, and never had the same date twice.

Then as a couple you started to get comfortable with each other and started to focus on the more predictable and familiar things about each other. We end up reaching for the warm and cozy sweats instead of the lingerie and couples toys.  The downside to such predictability is at times is might seem quite boring.  You will want to start doing the spontaneous  dates that will start the excitement in life.

3.       Remember the old dating days when you were carefree on your dates and could talk to each other for hours?  You didn’t know anything about them so you were open to talking about their thoughts and ideas and laughing at their jokes.  Now after years of marriage you may feel like there really isn’t much more that needs to be said; you’ve pretty much covered it all. Have you ever noticed that now if your partner starts telling a story or joke that you’ve heard before you actually tell them you’ve already heard that joke so no need to finish it?

Couples that can talk and laugh together are couples that have the best shot at rekindling the romance. The ability to actually connect verbally is one of the biggest needs of many women so men need to learn to connect to a woman through listening and talking. For many women, there is nothing more romantic than a partner that truly wants to hear her heart and can actually connect to the ideas and thoughts she’s sharing. Remember back in the day we could listen to each other’s stories over and over again because for some reason it fed us? Personally, I’ve found that there is no better aphrodisiac than some good conversation and laughter to make both of you feel closer to each other.

4.       Eye to eye

Try looking into your partner’s eyes for 7 minutes without talking. While you’re staring at each other, take a second and ask yourself, “What is it like to be my partner and married to me?” Then just learn to relax as you look into each other’s eyes. See what you end up feeling for each other.

5.       Touch
Start a new ritual with your partner called “Cuddle Time.” Every night before going to sleep, cuddle with your partner for 10 minutes. Cuddle Time should be 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to talk and touch. This is a time to talk about your relationship and about your future together. This isn’t a time to talk about car pool or the kids. It should be focused on the two of you. The touch is not sexual, but rather a show of affection.

Now that it is summer you are aware that eating all that winter comfort foods, you are aware that your body is not exactly bikini friendly. Bonnie Taub-Dix, R.D. says It’s lucky, then, that in the summer we naturally crave a different family of foods that boost our mood and appreciation of our body. “In the summer, when people are more dehydrated from the sun, they’re more likely to eat energizing, tummy-flattening, water-based foods such as citrus, spinach, and cold soup,” “When people feel healthier and lighter, they feel more comfortable in their skin. And that new found confidence creates a sexy frame of mind, prompting you to hit the sheets more often.”

As a couple that wants to rekindle the love back into the marriage, what a great time to do this than summer when you are eating more water-based foods that help you feel like grabbing your favorite sex toy and jumping into bed.

In the winter we stay inside our houses and really don’t get much sun.  Now that summer is upon us, you will want to take to the sexy outdoors to experience sensations.  “The beauty of having sex in the nature is that it engages all of your senses – the aroma of fresh flowers, the cool breeze on your warm skin, the soft earth under your body,” Says Gilda Carle, PH.D, author of 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity. “These new stimuli make sex more of a mind body experience.” So think about a private beach, backyard or where ever else you make want to experience having great sex with your spouse in the sun.

Let’s reconnect with your spouse and be spontaneous when it comes to having sex in the sun.

When it comes to summer love Justin Timberlake knows what he is singing about.  People tend to feel more sexual in warm weather because they’re visually stimulated by all the flesh on display, according to Debby Herbenick phd, author of Because it feel good.  We’re subconsciously reminded of sex because the fun flushes the skin in very similar ray to the glow people have when they are aroused.  So lets embrace the sultry season full on.
Each day we will post why summer love is better.

What is the difference between good sex and great sex? Good sex is just about having an orgasm, and great sex is about anticipating an orgasm. This means thinking about the finish line as the icing, not the cake because why would you want to miss out on any of the yummy goodness?

Even if foreplay is a focus of your couples play, the goodies aren’t going anywhere.  So let’s take our time getting them?


Do you as a couple bother with the rest of the body? There are many other parts of your body that are insanely sensitive.  As a couple why not spice up the love by tying some other parts of the body such as the back of your knees, the arch of your foot, inside of your elbow and even the back of your neck. As you experiment with other parts of the body this will bring you more pleasure.

You just might be surprised at how sexy it is when your spouse runs their tongue along the length of your spine so slowly that you can hardly stand it. The key to this is to surprise your spouse with something new and leave them guessing for what will be coming next.


How do you go about slowing down and wandering outside of the proverbial lines?  Here are a few ideas on how to get started.
1.     As a couple will want to make the oblivious body parts off limits. When you can’t touch the easy-to-spot goodies, you’re more likely to discover other parts of the body.  With your couples play when you find other parts of the body to focus on you will find that your foreplay will become more exciting as you get to know the other parts of your spouse’s body and what make then get excited.

2.    Take the egg timer out of the kitchen and put it in the bedroom.  Pick some part of the body that you want to focus on and flip the timer.  Focus on that part of the body until the timer runs out.  Then move to the next part no matter how much you partner begs you to stay longer.

3.    Put off the grand finale for a few days.  Sex doesn’t have to end in orgasm.  Orgasm is not the only way to experience pleasure. You as a couple may be surprised at how much you slow down and focus on other body parts when the only goal is to enjoy, then when you finally decide to go for it you will be surprised at how good it feels.

The point is to mix thing up and be creative when it comes to intimacy.  As you think of you spouses body as a vast pleasure this will bring you closer as a couple. It may be uncomfortable when you first try this technique the more you experiment with your spouse’s body then it will leave them guessing what will come next.

There’s a reason that we don’t order the same thing on the menu.  No one is stopping you, but would it continue to satisfy? This is why we want to mix up our love making with our spouse.  We want to keep the intimacy alive and not always having the same thing so mix thing up in the bedroom so that you spouses will always be guessing on what will come next with your couples play.

There are many benefits of having sex with your spouse as this article points out.

RIO DE JANEIRO – Brazil’s health minister has a remedy for the nation’s high-blood- pressure problem: More sex.

Minister Jose Temporao says adults should be exercising more to help keep their blood pressure down — and he says a good cardiovascular workout includes sex, “always with protection, obviously.”

Temporao also recommends dancing, a healthy diet and regular blood-pressure checks.

The minister made the comments Monday while launching a national campaign against high blood pressure in the Brazilian capital of Brasilia.

The Health Ministry says that 21.5 percent of Brazilians had high blood pressure in 2006. That jumped to 24.4 percent in 2009.

We should all follow the Brazil Minister says and have more sex with our spouse.  While Sex does not cure chronic illness  it can lower blood pressure over time.  It also helps burn calories.  It can also help the happy hormones such as dopamine and cortisol, and it counteracts depression, improves energy and improves people’s mood.  There are so many benefits of having sex with our spouse as this article shows.

The most important part about having sex with you partner is it can  strengthen the immune system, help you have a better relationship with your partner, and make you feel more connected to your partner.

A couple of weeks ago we posted a couple of articles that was on the Oprah show.  She showed two different couples having the same issue.  Both of these couples were not having sex with their spouses.  In both stories they pointed out that the wife had issues that she had to deal with, once they talked about these issues with their spouse then they were able to reconnect back into the bedroom.

So let’s put the kids to bed early and watch this video and talk about some issues that you may be having as a couple.  You also might have to schedule your couples play so that you are reconnecting as a couple.

We want to bring that spark back into your marriage that you had when you first were married.

Enjoy this video and dance and have fun together as a couple.

It shocking but true: 15 percent of people say they aren’t having sex in their marriages. On average, married couples have sex 58 times a year—that’s a little more than once a week. Dr. Laura Berman says sexless marriages are the number one problem she sees in her couples therapy practice. “We’ve had sexless marriages forever, but we’re just getting more comfortable talking about it,” she says.

Linda and Doug are ready to start talking about sex. They say they’ve had sex only a handful of times over the past five years, and they’ve had no sex at all for the past two years.

Married for nine years, Linda and Doug have three children. “The dynamic of our sex life changed after we got married just because more things started getting into our lives,” Doug says.

Having kids had a major impact on their sex life, Linda says. “I feel like we’re living two separate lives caring for our three boys,” she says. “It’s hard to see the man that I originally fell in love with.”
Linda and Doug say the sex stopped completely after they conceived their third child and that they are no longer physically attracted to one another. “I want to feel that he’s attracted to me, that he’s excited to be with me,” Linda says. “I questioned whether I was still attracted to Doug.”

Doug says he’s stopped seeing his wife in a sexual manner. “It’s like she’s so worn down she’s just trying to get through the day,” he says. “If this doesn’t get fixed, I think our marriage is at stake.”

Once Linda and Doug became solely focused on raising children, they say the deep discussions they once had stopped. “Those conversations were where our best connections came from, and we really started getting separated from each other. You almost kind of lose track of how you did it,” Doug says. “Before it was so natural, so easy. We really wanted the connection.”

Even after two and a half sexless years, Linda says they hardly talked about the issue. “When it was On the surface, it seemed that much of the problem for Doug and Linda was rooted in the fact that they stopped spending time together. “When we spent time together, it was a lot of those logistics: ‘Who’s doing what? What do we have to get done?’ You know, kind of domestic stuff,” Doug says.

When Dr. Berman took Linda’s sexual history, an even bigger issue came up. Linda told Dr. Berman she had once been forced to have sex against her will. “I could have put him in jail, if I had told someone,” she says. “I was essentially raped.”

Linda says she’s never told Doug about her sexual past. “With Doug, [sex] is just something I don’t want to do that often.”

When Linda finally told Doug about the rape, he says he had mixed emotions. “I was angry and empathetic at the same time. I was kind of back on my heels and wanting to be there and not sure what to do, you know? I was just kind of looking at things through a different lens at that point.”

Rape changes a person’s relationship with sex, Dr. Berman says. “Your power is taken away, and it’s a major sexual trauma. So not to have told anyone, not to have had a chance to work through it in therapy, not to have had a chance to heal and be carrying that secret around, the weight of that secret—when she knows that that was part of what was making her hold back—that was part of what was helping her shut down.”
Linda and Doug’s first homework assignment from Dr. Berman was simply to touch each other. “They had to get naked. They had to spend like 10 to 15 minutes, each of them on the other. No genital touching. No breast touching. Not about arousal. Just about sensuality and touch,” Dr. Berman says.

Doug says the assignment worked well. “It was great because of the connection, but then our conversation at the same time, you know? It wasn’t about anything outside the bedroom. It was just us talking,” he says.

The couple’s second assignment was a field trip to Tantric yoga.

The Yogic version of having sex, the tantric yoga exercise was supposed to help Linda and Dough reconnect with themselves and each other. “It was really interesting to have that connection. You kind of feel parts of your body creak that haven’t creaked in a while, and you have a sense of energy in your body too.”
For their third assignment, Dr. Berman sent Doug and Linda to the Pump It Up Kids Zone. “The idea is to kind of bring you here to a place where we can let your silly side out a little bit,” Dr. Berman says.

“It was kind of neat to have a giggle,” Doug says.

After hitting up a sex shop for assignment number four, Linda and Doug were faced with the final exam: to have sex. “It took a little longer than we thought just because after those three intense days, we got into a pretty heated argument that evening,” Doug says. “I think some of the stress and stuff were hitting us, and we really had to reflect upon what Dr. Berman had told us about communication, how to talk. And, I think we got back to a good point when we went to bed, but we still hadn’t had sex yet.”

The next morning, Doug says he and Linda started cuddling and connecting. “Linda kind of jokingly said, ‘We really need to do our homework,’ and it was really inviting and connected, and so we did our homework, and it was great fun. It reminded me how that used to be with her, more than five, 10 years ago. It was fantastic.”
Now that they’ve introduced sex back into their lives, Doug says they are scheduling for it so they don’t fall back into old patterns. “I really found that knowing that it was scheduled, I was really looking forward to it.”

Many couples worry that scheduling sex takes the romantic spontaneity out of it, but Dr. Berman says it’s necessary. “It’s a mind shift that you have to make because our instinct, our belief and the way we’ve been socialized, is that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously,” she says. “But in most of our lives, our crazy, busy, kid-ridden, mortgage-ridden lives, if you wait for it to happen spontaneously, it’s not going to happen.”